


Whatever This Is

by romanticalgirl



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:06:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 5/20/00</p>
    </blockquote>





	Whatever This Is

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 5/20/00

Joey sat on the end of the bed and stared down at the three men at her feet. Dawson lay on his back, one arm thrown over his head; his eyelashes still as he slept peacefully. Will lay on his stomach, his head buried in the crook of his arm, snuggled deep within the covers. Pacey had told her a long time ago about Will’s dad, and the defensive posture didn’t surprise her.

What surprised her was Pacey.

He lay on his side, sprawled out like a cat, a soft smirk on his face, as if he were dreaming about something decadent. His head lay on his arm and the other crossed over his stomach, covering the edge of the sleeping bag that had been pushed down to his hips.

Glancing at Dawson again, she let her eyes sweep over the sleeping bag and noted, not for the first time, that he didn’t awaken with an erection. He never had in all the time she’d known him; at least not that he’d ever let her see. Or feel.

She looked back at Will, mostly out of curiosity. His posture hid any sign of his state of arousal, or lack of it, so she let her eyes drift back to the man in the middle. Pacey’s posture didn’t hide anything. The distinct tenting of the sleeping bag was obvious, even though his arm covered most of his erection.

She bit her lower lip as she let her eyes wander over him, feeling the stirrings of her own arousal as he shifted, his arm moving, his erection straining, his shirt pulling up and exposing the smooth skin of his stomach.

Swallowing hard, she forced her eyes away, not quite willing to let them follow the trail of dark hair that disappeared into the khaki drawstring pants he wore. She looked back over her shoulder as the bed shifted and Andie moved up next to her.

"They look different in their sleep, don’t they?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Joey agreed, chewing on her bottom lip again. She could hear Pacey’s voice in her head from the day her mural was ruined, and forced herself to stop. When did he get to know her so well?

"Peaceful, like nothing in the world could bother them." Andie sighed. "I mean, look at Dawson. Watching him sleep, you’d never guess that he’s going through a crisis of faith and imagination, that his parent’s activities in the past year have torn him apart, that he’s feeling a little lost."

"What makes you think he’s feeling lost?"

"He’s come back to a place from his childhood, searching for something he’s lost. I would think you would have been the first to spot that."

Joey shrugged. She would have been, if she hadn’t been rushing headlong into Pacey, exploring new feelings that she’d never thought possible. "Yeah."

"And Will. I don’t know him very well, but I know a little. He looks like a little boy, maybe a little boy lost too."

"And…and Pacey?"

Joey watched Andie as she looked at her ex-boyfriend. Her eyes seemed to gloss over with nostalgia, but Joey couldn’t seem to detect anything more than memory in the gaze. "He looks like a cocky, knowing…loveable scoundrel." She laughed softly in the quiet room. "Pacey doesn’t look different. It’s the words that make the difference in him."

"What do you mean?"

"When Pacey opens his mouth, he can convince you of anything. He can sweet talk you, seduce you, impress you or piss you off. But he’s not so eloquent with his body language. He keeps it all hidden, has had to. It’s all in his words."

"And his eyes."

"What?" Andie turned her head to look at Joey.

"Nothing." She blushed and pushed off the bed, stumbling as she tangled with the bottom of Pacey’s sleeping bag. Falling forward, she cursed herself silently, bracing for impact, only to find herself suspended over him, his hands wrapped firmly around her arms.

"Falling for me, Potter?" His voice was husky with sleep, deep and growly and working its way through her defenses.

"In your dreams, Pacey." She tried to look away as he lowered her to the ground beside him. "Thanks for catching me."

"Well, it was either that or get flattened by you."

"Some of us are still trying to sleep," Dawson reminded them both. He turned over in his sleeping bag and glared at his friends. "Show a little courtesy?"

Pacey looked over his shoulder at his friend and felt a wave of guilt. He shouldn’t be enjoying lying next to Joey, holding her loosely. He shouldn’t have held her in his arms last night and kissed her, shouldn’t have let her kiss him. "To you?"

Dawson smirked. "Yeah, forgot who I was talking to." Shoving the sleeping bag off of him, Dawson got to his feet and headed for the door. "I probably shouldn’t be complaining, since you’re actually up on time, not like yesterday when you and Joey stayed in bed for an extra hour. Lazy bums."

Pacey closed his eyes as Dawson left the room, unable to look at Joey.

Andie kicked his foot. "He’s right. I think for that you guys should have to pack up the car." She looked over at Will who was watching her with a smile. "Come on, Will. We’ll make ‘em work for their breakfast."

Will got to his feet and followed Andie out of the room, wondering if all of his old friends were blind. Was he the only one to notice that Pacey had yet to release Joey? Was he the only one who saw how she looked at him? Pulling the door closed behind him, he shook his head. Fortunately for Pacey, apparently so.

Pacey opened his eyes and immediately lost himself in Joey’s gaze. Her dark eyes were trained on his blue ones, sending shivers down his spine. He loosened his hold on her, letting his hands run down her arms until he captured his hands in hers. "Good morning."

"Morning."

"Any second thoughts in the harsh light of day?"

"About a million," she admitted. "Most of which are drowned out by the overwhelming urge I have to kiss you again."

"What’s stopping you?" He leaned into her, grazing her lips with his own, inviting her to deepen the kiss.

"Dawson," she whispered against his lips, forcing him to recoil. His eyes were wide with hurt and shock and Joey shook her head, laughing quietly. "Pacey," she rushed to reassure him. "I know you’re not Dawson. But he could walk in any second. That’s what’s stopping me."

"Oh. I knew that." He managed a weak grin. "Really."

She let go of his hand and brought hers to his chest, rubbing the soft cotton of his tank top. "When this weekend is over, we’ll go somewhere and figure it all out, okay? Someplace where there’s not an ex-boyfriend and an ex-girlfriend just on the other side of the door."

"I like that plan." He nodded, closing his eyes as her hand snaked down to his stomach, smoothing over his skin, her thumb rubbing the dark hairs beneath his navel. "Uhm…Jo?"

She lowered her gaze to his already prominent erection, noting how it changed as she touched him. "I should stop."

"Yes," he agreed, knowing that he didn’t want her to. He watched her hand move lazily, her thumb running along the waistband of his boxers that extended above his pants. Swallowing hard, he went on. "That would be…best."

"Best," she breathed, moving closer to him, unable to stop the forward movement. Her lips found his, and Pacey groaned helplessly, accepting her tongue as she licked his lips, asking entrance. He ached to pull her closer, but instead, pushed her away slightly, forcing air between them, breaking and ending to the kiss.

"Jo…"

"Right." She pulled away and got to her feet, holding on to the bed in an effort to combat her weak knees. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly from their brief kiss, her breath shaky from touching him, wanting him. "I think…we’d be better off today if we weren’t alone together."

"I think I’m going to have to agree." Pacey fell back onto the sleeping bag and tugged it back over him.

"Aren’t you getting up?"

"Joey, we’ve been alone in this room together for five minutes and I have a raging hard-on. Something tells me that letting everyone out there know that you gave it to me is not going to help us keep this quiet."

"You had it before I did anything."

"I had it the minute I started dreaming about you, feeling your eyes on me." Pacey met her eyes and shook his head. "You do this to me, Jo. All the time."

"I do?"

Rolling his eyes at the pleasure in her tone, Pacey nodded. "Yeah. You do. Now go the hell away so I can get it under control."

"Are you going to…?"

"Yeah, right here in Aunt Gwen’s house where anyone can walk in." He grinned to take the sting out of his words. "No, Joey. I’m going to think very hard about things that don’t excite me."

"Like the prospect of telling Dawson?"

Pacey’s erection was instantly a memory. "Thanks, Jo."

She sighed and helped him to his feet. "Yeah. You’re welcome."

~**~  
"Andie?" Joey touched the other girl’s arm and motioned her away from Will. "Could I ask you a favor?"

"Sure." Andie walked toward the back of the car with her. "What’s up?"

"Well," Joey bit her lower lip and crossed her arms over her chest. "I know that you and Will are really hitting it off, but I was wondering…" Sighing, Joey leaned against the car and looked down at the ground.

"Dawson?"

"What?" Joey’s panicked gaze flew to Andie’s. "What?"

"I was just wondering if it was Dawson. He’s been pretty focused on you this weekend. I mean, dragging you up to the loft to talk and reflect on old times, rather than be with the rest of us. I told you Joey, he’s lost and he’s looking at you to help him find his way." Andie shrugged. "And I thought maybe it was getting to be a little overwhelming?"

With another soft sigh, Joey nodded. "Yeah. He thinks things are still the same and…and they’re not."

"So you want me to…?" Andie raised an eyebrow. "Seduce him? Blindfold and gag him and lead him out into the woods and shoot him?"

Laughing, Joey shook her head. "Nothing so drastic. Just can you…sit up front with him? So that I don’t have to feel like some sort of display?" Her mouth quirked up in a half-smirk, half-smile. "I’d appreciate it. And I imagine everyone else would too, if they didn’t have to hear about the details of our early singing career."

"Anything’s better than the details of mine." Andie grinned and cast a glance over at Will. "But sure. I mean, Will and I are hitting it off, but I don’t know that a long car ride in the back with Pacey is the best way to further our getting to know each other."

"Since Pacey knows all the dirt on both of you?"

"Right," Andie nodded. "So it would be much more beneficial for each of us to corner him on his own and worm the information out of him."

"It’s gonna cost you, you know." Joey grinned. "Pacey doesn’t give any information out for free, unless it’s a benefit to him."

The back door of the car slammed shut and Pacey grinned at both of the girls. "You wound me, Josephine."

"I only wish I really could." The jibe came as naturally as breathing, and even with their newfound…whatever it was, it still felt right. "So, is eavesdropping your latest new hobby?"

Andie had walked away and Pacey stepped slightly closer to Joey. "You know what my newest hobby is, Potter." His breath was like a warm wave of desire rushing through her as his words brushed her ear. She turned slightly and rested her hand on the side of the car for support. "So, you’re not going to sit in the passenger’s seat?"

"No," she admitted.

"Planning on making a move on Krudski?"

"Not quite." She turned her head so that she could see his clear blue eyes, dancing with mischief.

"Well, I know you can’t be planning on sitting next to me, Potter."

"And why’s that?"

He let his hand rest in the small of her back for just a second before moving away. "Because Dawson asked me to drive home."

~**~  
Joey looked at Dawson out of the corner of her eye. He was leaning against the window; his eyes closed in sleep. She shifted a little, looking at Will behind her. Andie had moved to the back seat with him when she started dozing off, leaving Pacey in the front of the car all alone.

Raising her eyes to the rearview mirror, she caught Pacey looking back at her. He smiled knowingly and tilted his head toward the passenger’s seat. She looked at Dawson again quickly before unhooking her seatbelt and moving through the small passage between the front two seats. "Hey."

He grinned, not taking his eyes off the darkened road. "Hey, Potter."

"We’re a pretty rowdy bunch back there. I’m surprised you could manage to concentrate."

He shrugged and gave her a quick look. "Why aren’t you sleeping?"

"I don’t know. I’m exhausted. I didn’t get much sleep on Friday nig…" She blushed, realizing what she was admitting. "Night. Somebody was hogging all the covers."

"Yeah, you were."

"Me?" She reached over and poked him in the arm. "I think it was someone a little more butch than I am."

"Is there anyone more butch than you?" He grabbed at her hand with his left one, catching it before she could pull it away. His thumb whispered over her skin, and he reveled in her velvet softness. "More tomboy-ish?"

"Is that what you like about me?" She asked the words softly, breathlessly; surprised that this simple touch could evoke such a response. "My tomboy aspect?"

"Not quite." He released her hand and clutched the wheel tightly, resisting the urge to pull over and take her in his arms again. "Well, not that I don’t enjoy it. There’s pretty much nothing about you that I don’t enjoy, Joey. Well, except maybe your sarcastic wit and volatile response to some of my more amorous advances."

Joey looked over her shoulder at their sleeping friends. "Shh."

"They’re asleep, Joey."

"And they could wake up any minute, Pacey." She turned back so that she was facing the windshield and stared out at the darkened landscape rushing by. "I’m scared."

"Me too."

She turned, surprised. "You are?"

"I’ve been scared since the first day I felt something for you, Potter." His voice was a whisper, husky and full of meaning that she was scared to identify. "Scared of what it meant, how much it would hurt. Scared of how it would ruin everything."

"Well, there’s nothing a woman likes more than to hear she’s going to ruin everything."

Pacey shook his head and glanced in the rearview mirror, his eyes automatically going to Dawson. "You’re my best friend’s ex-girlfriend. You’re my ex-girlfriend’s friend. We’d both be lying if we said this wasn’t going to matter to them."

"What is this, Pacey? Do we know?"

"No, Potter. We don’t." He sighed and turned his gaze back to the road. "Not yet anyway."

~**~  
Pacey pulled into Dawson’s driveway and stopped the car. Closing his tired eyes for a long minute, he opened them and turned in his seat, staring over at Joey. She’d fallen asleep along the way, lulled there by the silence that had fallen between them.

A smile twitched at his lips as he watched her, it had been a comfortable silence, one they’d never have been capable of before this year. One he’d never have believed could exist between the two of them. Pulling the key from the ignition, he got out and walked to the back of the car and opened the back hatch. Not quite ready to wake his friends, he unloaded all their bags.

"What are you doing?" Dawson was looking at him, his eyes hazy with sleep. "Where are we?"

"Home. Your home to be precise. I delivered us safe and sound. I’d carry you up to bed, sleeping beauty, but I don’t think that would stand us in good manly stead. So I thought I’d haul these other losers home so that you can get your much needed rest."

"You were supposed to wake me up halfway so that I could drive."

"Nah. You were resting peacefully. Besides, as long as you guys were asleep, I didn’t have to listen to Joey bitch about my choice of music." He shouldered his bag. "Now, what say you wake up the rest of these yahoos so that I can toss ‘em in the truck and take ‘em home."

"Why didn’t you drop them off first?"

"Because in the grand scheme of things, Dawson, everyone except for Potter lives closer to me, so it’s easier than having to backtrack."

"So why not drop off Joey?"

"I thought she could use the exercise." He grinned in her direction, ignoring her pointed glare. "I don’t know. I didn’t know if you guys had any plans for tonight." Only Joey noticed the slight change in his tone. "You guys missed movie night, during all the karaoke. I thought you might want to make up for it."

Joey’s eyes narrowed as he refused to look at her. Pacey leaned into the car and ruffled Andie’s hair.

"Hey McPhee. Quit with the snoring." She mumbled something and Pacey’s eyes widened. "Why Andrea! I’m shocked and appalled."

She opened one eye and glared at him. "Pacey…"

"Come on, McPhee. Ride’s over. Time to go home. Say goodnight to the nice host of the weekend."

Andie stretched and climbed out of the car. "Thanks, Dawson."

Will followed her. "Yeah, thanks man."

"My pleasure. And Aunt Gwen’s, of course." Dawson joined them outside the car, catching the keys as Pacey tossed them to him. "Thanks for deciding to grace us with your presence at the last minute, Pace."

"I knew you wouldn’t survive a weekend without me." He grinned and started for his truck. "Come on Andie, Will. See ya later, Potter."

"Not if I see you first."

~**~  
Pacey sat in the truck for a long time, letting it idle quietly. Looking down at his watch, he finally turned it off, listening to the soft sound of the engine die reluctantly. The door closed silently behind him, just the soft sound of the lock catching as he eased it shut.

He walked through the grass, noting absently that it was growing fairly rapidly and he was going to have to get his ass out there with the lawnmower pretty soon. The long, purposeful strides took him down the dock, settling there in a rush of disappointment as he noticed her rowboat was nowhere in sight.

Sitting on the edge, he let his feet dangle over the water, staring down at the constantly moving water. He sat there silently for hours, waiting for her, giving up just as the sun began to rise. Forcing himself off the dock, he trudged back to the truck and slipped inside, his eyes narrow from lack of sleep and disappointment.

~**~  
Joey awoke to the throbbing hum of the lawnmower. Throwing the covers off of her, she put her robe on and walked to her window. Pushing the curtains out of the way, she smiled as she saw Pacey pushing the noisy contraption through the tough grasses close to the creek.

Changing quickly into shorts and a T-shirt, she slipped her tennis shoes on and made her way out to the lawn. She waved at Pacey from the porch steps, surprised when he simply turned the mower and ignored her.

Making her way over to him, she let her eyes wander over his body. He was wearing a white tank top that clung to his skin in the early morning heat, both the front and back damp with sweat. His shorts were baggy as usual, ending around his knees. His legs were bare and his tennis shoes were green from the grass clippings.

She had an overwhelming urge to lick him.

Shaking her head, she tapped him on the shoulder, following behind him as he continued mowing. Her finger was glazed with his sweat and she barely resisted the desire to slip it between her lips and taste him. "Pacey?"

He kept mowing and her eyes narrowed.

"Pacey."

When he didn’t stop, she hurried around him and stood in front of the lawn mower, forcing him to a stop. He let the gas die and refused to look at her. "What?"

"What’s wrong?"

"Nothing’s wrong, Joey. Why would anything be wrong?"

"I don’t know. I’m pretty sure if I knew I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you forcing some sort of confrontation."

"Nothing’s wrong, Potter."

"Pacey." She stepped closer and put her hand on his forearm. She closed her eyes at the feel of his sweat slick skin and took a deep breath before looking at him. "Tell me? Please?"

"You didn’t come home last night."

"What?"

"I sat at the dock until the sun came up waiting for you, waiting for that damn rowboat to come through the water from Dawson’s house and it never did." His blue eyes were full of hurt as he tried to hide them from her. "I thought…"

"Well, you thought wrong." Joey glared at him; her own hurt clear in her dark eyes. "No Pacey, I didn’t row home last night. Because it was so late, Dawson drove me home. And I thanked him for a great weekend, walked inside and went promptly to sleep."

"Oh." He looked away from her, his gaze going back out to the water.

"I wouldn’t do that to you."

"How am I supposed to know that, Jo? We haven’t defined any of the terms of this…whatever it is, and all I could imagine was you staying there, lying next to him."

"Pacey," she shook her head. "Dawson’s my friend."

"So am I." He dared her to refute it, dared her to say different.

"Yeah. You are." She let her hand slide down his arm until she captured his hand. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

She tugged him along after her, leaving the lawn mower in the middle of the yard. "We’re going to define our whatever this is."

~**~  
Pacey glanced around the small storage shed Joey had dragged him into, trying to ignore the smell of gas and paint. "Potter…"

"Shut up." She closed the door behind them, dropping them into semi-darkness. She pushed him against the door, blocking anyone for intruding on their privacy. "There’s something I need to say first."

"Potter…"

Her tongue danced along his collarbone, licking the sweat from his smooth skin. Pacey groaned softly, his hands constricting on her hips, pulling her closer. Joey tilted her head back and smiled at him in the dim light. "You taste good."

Pacey bent his head and captured her lips, lifting her slightly so that they fit together, their bodies entwining as she wrapped her arms around him, her legs around him. He turned them around so that she was pressed against the wall, using it to help support her.

Pulling back from her kiss, he licked his lips, tasting her and his own salty sweat. "So do you."

Her fingers entwined in his hair, and she pulled him back to her. "So do we."


End file.
